04 April 2014

White Lies and the Kids That Tell Them...


Cecilia is a fibber.

I never meant to raise a daughter that tells white lies. Sometimes they are funny. One time our conversation literally went like this:
Cecilia: Mom, you know that Gordo is really strong, right?
Me: Yes....
Cecilia: Well, Gordo, he picked up my arm, and made me color on the TV....
Well, I had to laugh at that one. But then, the other day we had to give her a lesson in truth-telling. 

Hector was asking her a serious question. Usually, when Cecilia is asked a question that she doesn't know the answer to, she'll defer to me. She will wait for me to cue her in her answer. This is a bad habit in and of itself, but this time, we weren't going for it. As Cecilia waited for my answer, none came. 

So then, very slowly and cautiously...she uttered "yes..."

Fortunately, 'Yes' was the correct answer, but the way that she said it showed that she was just guessing. So we called her on it- it's not okay to make up an answer if you don't know. It's okay to say "I don't know". This had me pondering... how do I raise an honest and truth-loving daughter?

I began to look on Pinterest. Honestly, that is where I ended up. Her little white lie SCARED me. If she can lie like that to us now, I am terrified to think that she could lie to us when she is fifteen. This has never been a problem until recently, but I am seeing it more and more in how she responds to me. 

The Top Answers I found on Pinterest: 
  • How To Teach Kids About Honesty- They promote avoiding asking questions that will set your kids up for lies by increasing their guilt:

    "Do not ask your child the questions whose answers you are already familiar with. For example: “Who broke the glass?” When you already know that he broke it. Instead tell him that “You know you are not supposed to touch glasses on the table.” Not only a kid but even an adult can lie in certain situations where he/she feels guilty about his action. Direct confrontation will invoke the guilt in the kid which will compel him to speak a lie. Thus, direct confrontation should be avoided as much as possible."

  • Less Than Perfect Parents- The author suggests not only being honest examples but also pointing it out to your kids. HELLO. Kids might not always see it when we're being honest. Sometimes, they need it waved right in their face- not for bragging rights, but for teaching purposes:
    "[P]
    ractice what you preach and point it out to them.  If you receive too much change at the store make sure you give it back.  Let your child know what happened and why you did it.  Make sure you’re not fibbing and not realizing it.  For example, saying “I don’t want to take this call, tell her I’m in the shower”  is a great way to show your kids it’s okay to lie to get out of a situation."
  • Over the Big Moon- This whole post is an amazing idea. I suggest if you're struggling with this, then you should check out the lesson that the author gave her boys. Very creative.
Well, I don't know where I'm going to end up with this. I struggle as a mom of a daughter. I will definitely be giving updates to this situation as time progresses. How about you? Do you struggle with your kids? How do you teach your kids to be honest and truthful? What do you do when you catch your kids lying? Comment below with your answers and maybe we can bounce ideas off of each other.

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