22 May 2014

Surviving Long-Distance Marriage, Part 7

Welcome back to my marriage series on surviving a long-distance marriage. This is the 7th and last installment in the series. Other posts in this series can be found here. To find out more about how we ended up in a long-distance marriage, click here.

There is no way that we could have survived three years of separation without my semi-regular visits to Tijuana. I have spent thousands of dollars to visit Hector. I won't lie, sometimes, I felt like I was working simply to visit. My work has an amazing rotation schedule that allows me Friday-Sunday off fairly regularly. This allowed for me to not use any vacation or PTO and go down to Mexico for a weekend. When people ask me, "What did you do this weekend?", I love telling them, "Oh, you know, I went to Mexico for the weekend". Fortunately now this is almost over, but I know many people are just starting out on this journey. 

Visiting Mexico regularly is expensive. We have the luxury of the living in Tijuana. I know not everyone does. The luxurious part of this is that I can fly from Portland to the San Diego airport, take a $5 bus ride to the border, and walk across into Tijuana. This usually costs me about $150 since I fly Southwest most of the time. If I were to fly into Tijuana, there are no direct flights. I would have to fly to Guadalajara first, then back to Tijuana. It comes up to about $500... I don't think so. I lucked out with our locations. 

A weekend in Mexico can cost about $400...it depends on how much shopping you do. Anymore, we don't really shop or buy tourist-y things. We buy a lot of food. I like to eat well and so does Hector. When I visit, we are usually eating out rather than staying at home and cooking, which, is just fine for me. I love eating street food. I have only gotten sick once and I was out for about a week with food poisoning. Other than that, I love trying new foods.
This is clearly what food should look like. 
Visiting regularly helps sustain the other person, spiritually and physically. We have had hard times. We have had periods where we haven't liked each other very much. But reconnecting through uninterrupted hanging out, well, that is the most precious gift you can give someone. The gift of your time. Yes, the visit is expensive. Yes, you both will be miserably depressed when you have to leave. But you also have helped build that person up and have given them hope during the desperate amount of time apart. 
We're silly.
I hope that you, my readers, have been able to take something away from this series. These are clearly just observations from the course of living in a long-distance marriage longer than I should have. I am in no way a marriage expert. For formal marriage advice, contact your local priest. I am so glad that my time of long-distance marriage is close to over and I can go on, living a normal life with my husband and children. I do not recommend this lifestyle to anyone. We lived this way because of my stubbornness and pride. If you find yourselves in our situation, swallow your fear, bite the bullet, and get yourself with your spouse. You marriage will thank you in the long-run. The only good thing I have learned from this is that our marriage is built to last. We have survived deportation AND separation, even when we weren't so sure that we would. I know that I love my husband and my family, and that is why we are taking this huge leap into the unknown.

1 comment:

  1. I know that you are living in Tijuana now but you should look at spirit airlines for flying back home to visit Portland. They often have flights for $38 (or less) if you are a member of their $9 club (which costs $60 per year). Sign up to get their emails and they will tell you every time there is a sale happening, which is often, you just have to make sure to check your email often because the sales are only good for 2 days. I'm flying from SD to PDX on 10/15 and then back again on 10/28 for 23.99 each way.

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