|Our Lady, Mother of Divine Providence|
What is Divine Providence? I've basically come to understand that this is God's will for us on Earth. According to my go-to Wikipedia, Divine Providence is also another name for God. It's a subject I know practically NOTHING about. How can I know about all of the Lord's plans for this planet? For each individual person? I can't, nor would I ever want to. That is a job for the Almighty.
So, why am I writing about a subject I know so little about? Because I felt moved to do so.
I am about to undertake the scariest thing I have ever done in my entire life. I am moving away from home. Not only am I moving out from the comfort of my parent's home, I am moving to a foreign country. Not only am I moving to a foreign country, but a "Third World Country" where water sometimes gets shut off and I have to hang my clothes out to dry. I'm applying for jobs like crazy, but I have yet to have anything pan out for me. To say I'm nervous and terrified would be an understatement. I'm losing sleep over this move.
More than one person has asked me why I don't just stay here in Portland until something else better comes up. My answer is this: I've been waiting three years for something better to come up, and nothing has. How much longer do my children go without having a father? How much longer do I have to live without my husband? I have been let down and hurt before. Everyone on this planet has been disappointed before. It's hard to trust someone after that confidence has been destroyed. You constantly over think the other person's actions; you spend your energy protecting yourself. Sometimes I think that I've been let down by Providence. Sometimes I think that God is out to punish me for my sins; that it is my place to suffer simply for God's enjoyment. I know rationally that is not the case, but that is how my mind works.
I cannot think like that in Mexico, or about this move. This is all a part of God's plan. There was a reason that Hector ended up right where he did. This is how it is supposed to work out, but when we are so busy blaming God for life not being fair, you just can't see it. The Scripture says:
"And we know that to them that love God all things work together for good, even to them that are called according to his purpose." -Romans 8:28It doesn't some "somethings" or "the well-thought out and prepared for things"; it says "ALL THINGS". God will take care of us if we continue to live our lives for Him, no matter our circumstances or problems. Matthew 6:31-33 says:
31 Be not therefore anxious, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?32 For after all these things do the Gentiles seek; for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.33 But seek ye first his kingdom, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.Bucket List will still exist, those are still things I'd love to do, if God wills them. By plans I mean, my way of doing things. I'm putting God in control of my move, in control of my life, and in control of our family. Let His will be done in my life and in my family.
There is a prayer I found on Catholic Online by St. Jane Frances de Chantal. It is more of a poem, and it is a total abandonment to the holy will of God:
O sovereign goodness of the sovereign Providence of my God!
I abandon myself forever to Thy arms.
Whether gentle or severe,
lead me henceforth whither Thou wilt;
I will not regard the way through which Thou wilt have me pass,
but keep my eyes fixed upon Thee,
my God, who guidest me.
My soul finds no rest without the arms
and the bosom of this heavenly Providence,
my true Mother, my strength and my rampart.
Therefore I resolve with Thy Divine assistance,
0 my Saviour,
to follow Thy desires and Thy ordinances,
without regarding or examining why Thou dost this rather than that;
but I will blindly follow Thee
according to Thy Divine will,
without seeking my own inclinations.
Hence I am determined to leave all to Thee,
taking no part therein save by keeping myself in peace in Thy arms,
desiring nothing except as Thou incitest me to desire,
to will, to wish.
I offer Thee this desire, 0 my God,
beseeching Thee to bless it;
I undertake all it includes,
relying on Thy goodness,
liberality, and mercy,
with entire confidence in Thee,
distrust of myself,
and knowledge of my infinite misery and infirmity.