But I have been contemplating this as Hector reminds me that I am not prioritizing him and my son as I should be. I am so wrapped up in the upcoming move that I am burying myself in unnecessary busyness. This reminds me of a Bible teaching that I have been reading lately (I know it's not Faith Friday, but I really felt moved to talk about this). It's the story of Mary and Martha. I feel like I've been making myself into Martha lately.
Martha was a disciple of Jesus; so was her sister Mary. Jesus came to visit their home: Mary sat down at Jesus' feet, and listened to his teaching. Martha was all over the place, fixing the place, cooking and cleaning. This is probably what we'd all do if Jesus came calling at our door. I know my home probably isn't fit for the King of the Universe.
The Holy Scripture tells us this story:
Okay, this is where I am at: I am being a Martha when I should be a Mary to my husband. I feel like I am running around, trying to do the Lord's will, building up my daughter in the way of the Lord, teaching her about His holy Church. But I am neglecting my family as well. I need a balance.38 Now as they went on their way, he entered into a certain village: and a certain woman named Martha received him into her house.39 And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at the Lord's feet, and heard his word.40 But Martha was cumbered about much serving; and she came up to him, and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister did leave me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me.41 But the Lord answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art anxious and troubled about many things:42 but one thing is needful: for Mary hath chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her.
The Lord said to Martha, "Thou art anxious and troubled about many things;" Oh boy. That cuts me to the core. I have long struggled with anxiety and the upcoming move has been driving me nuts. I'm trying to distract myself with a million "good things" but I'm not focusing on the most important "good thing"- reuniting my family. Martha asked Jesus to tell her sister to help her; how many times have we asked God to make someone help us or to make someone act a certain way? Does it usually happen? Not from my experience. The Lord's answer was that she was worried too much about everything; that she should be like her sister, listening to the Word rather than focusing on the worldly things. She needed to change her own way of thinking, rather than her sister's way of being.
This is me. To a "T" lately.
I need to stop being busy. I need to stop learning new things (for a minute or two) and just enjoy the presence of Jesus in my home, working in my family, and in my life. And I need to, instead of containing all of that inside of me, let it spill over into my relationships. I can't effectively live for Jesus if I don't let it show to the people closest to me.
Thanks for letting me get this out; I needed, too.