12 March 2017

52WGC|Week Ten

So, first of all, I owe you an explanation. I've missed 3 weeks of this challenge. I've been insanely busy, more so than usual. I've been working and doing a lot of stuff around the house that needed some attention. The past three weeks of the challenge also encouraged me to be grateful for a friend. Unfortunately, I don't have any friends in my real life that I'm comfortable sharing about publicly. I can talk about myself for years, but I can't share about those around me.  So, I'm moving on to week ten. Week ten invites me to look at myself and find 5 things that I like about myself.

I have suffered from low self-esteem since I knew what self-esteem was. I can easily pick apart my most obvious flaws, obsessing over the physical features or my lack of social skills. Finding a quality, much less five, that I like about myself is a long walk down the path of self-discovery. I have been able to learn to stop second-guessing every compliment, but accepting that there are good things about myself has taken awhile.

1. I am resilient. I have shown myself that I am brave and strong. I didn't move to Mexico right after Hector's deportation because I was afraid. I knew that I would fail. I feared the prospect of starving, of homelessness, of my marriage falling apart. I eventually did come. And it's been hard. I've faced things that I never expected to face, done things I never dreamed of doing, and gave up parts of me that I was clinging to for dear life. But I've met and overcome every challenge that I've come across. 

2. I have a knack for languages. This skill has come in handy more than I could ever imagine. Besides English and Spanish, I also speak Portuguese, and I'm beginning to learn French. I feel that speaking foreign languages is an important part of any education, because English is not theonly language in existence. It takes me about two years of daily study to become proficient in a language that I am not immersed in. When immeresed, it takes much longer for me to learn the language correctly, because I pick up too much local slang.

3. I am awkward. This is not something that love about myself, but it is something that I think I appreciate. I like being at home. I love devouring an amazing book. I am not a fan of crowded places, or being touched, or carrying on conversations with strangers. It's exhausting. Even ordering food is an activity that takes a giant pep-talk. I am perfectly content with the fact that I need to be alone a lot. I have learned that my awkwardness is just part of my personality, the way that God created me.

4. I am loyal. I am fiercely loyal to my friends, the few that thet are, my work, and of course, Hector. I defend them even when they probably don't deserve it by society standards. I stay in jobs for long periods of time, which is unusual in my line of work.

5. I am crafty.  Not cunning, but I enjoy making things. I've kept scrapbooks since 8th grade. I knit. I crochet. I make party decorations. I have an eye for things like that. I try to add a little beauty to the world every day. I have that talent and I'm proud of it. It makes me happy to make things and share them with other people. 

So, there you have it: 5 things about me that I like. As I age I recognize that I am set in my ways by now, and they're not all bad. 

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